Saturday, May 1, 2010

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU HAVE RESIDUAL BEE PHOBIA

I haven't inspected my hive yet. I keep facing weather that I've learned is not the most conducive for doing inspections in. Apparently when it is windy, rainy, cloudy, the bees tend to be more aggressive. All I need to do is get through the first inspection and I know I will be fine. It is this fear of the unknown that is killing me.

I grew up with this intense fear of bees. Having seen the movie "the swarm" when I was 7 and then being stung when I was 8 just didn't make for a love of stinging insects. Although I don't have the intense phobia that I once did I still have this ingrained nasty reaction to anything that flies. If it lands on me, without thinking or checking first, I always shake whatever part of my body the thing landed on to get whatever it is off. It could be a lady bug and yes, I will react that badly, only to feel like a complete idiot later. To be even more pathetic I react this way to things that aren't even insects. A piece of string dangling in view but not yet identified as string will make me jump. I know, I'm a moron.

I had someone watch over me when I hived my first package and I have the option of having him come back to look over me when I do my first inspection as well but I really don't want to. This is something I really really want to accomplish on my own.

I know everyone who reads this will wonder why I ever chose to keep bees if I'm not 100% confident around them. My only explanation, I honestly love bees. I love everything about them. I could have sat in class at the University listening to Marla and Gary talk about bees for days and never get bored. They are fascinating creatures and I feel honored to have them living in my backyard. I'm not all about the honey and beeswax, though that would be a bonus if I manage to keep my babies alive through the winter, I'm in it solely for the education. I want to learn about these fascinating insects more than anything. I want to face up to my irrational anxieties about them and see if I can become an accomplished beekeeper.